"Isn't he cute?" "Not really" "No.. his accent." "Oh.. yeah."
Oh dear, oh dear. This is turning into less of a blog and more of a bloody monthly Reader's Digest. With less.. err.. I dunno, I've never read it. It's got recipes in it hasn't it? Yeah, there's none of them. I'm going to start charging soon. Would you pay? Of course you wouldn't, what a silly thought.
So then right. Since the last time I posted, which is sickeningly over 6 weeks ago, a hell of a bloody lot has happened. Let me take you back to that time. I was still in a horrific hostel by the name of Global Backpackers Village back then, which now I am out of it's sordid grasp, I can honestly say was a complete and utter "sordid little grief hole", as a character played by Chris Morris once said. Oh, for hindsight. Anyway, I left a few days later and moved into another hostel, Hostelling International Toronto, where bizarrely, I still reside.
Anyway, more of that later. Around the time I first joined HI, I was still heavily focused on finding jobs. The endless cycle of CV handing out and bullshit cover letters and stuff isn't fun, and any preconceptions about the recession being any less over here were quickly dashed. Yeah, there is plenty of jobs about, but only with about a hundred billion applicants desperately clambering to make 25 cents by licking the shit off drive-thru banks. Probably.
Drive-thru banks eh. Fucking hell. One thing that hadn't at the time and still hasn't diminished is the sheer hilarity of Toronto. From the ridiculous adverts on TV, to the shop names (Excellent Haircut...Nice One Nails..) to the most insane things you've ever seen like.. a hobo shitting on a church (less funny, more gip-worthy)... they all just give me a very warped view of this city. And I have grown fond of it's twisted ridiculousness. Even the graffiti is better than Britain. I mean, I have genuine respect for people who dawb "Give up, you're too old!" over Jay-Z posters or scrawl "You're ruining our childhood!" over an Astroboy movie poster.
I don't truely believe I'm seeing the real Canada here, and I've heard this view echoed to me by other people. It's not started snowing here yet, it's getting cold a bit (I'm WELL not prepared for that), but Toronto does seem like a bit of any big American city I've seen on TV, with people who say "oot and aboot" and like waving their flags. It's extremely multicultural, which is of course, a good thing (+2 points for my liberalism there), but I think I shall have to wait until next year before I see the whole bear-moose-mountie thing. There's plenty of ice hockey ABOOT EH, but with the form the Toronto Maple Leafs are in, I think I'll steer well clear. Seven losses in a row?! Oh, how I yearn to watch highlights and goals from the INCREDIBLY mighty Leeds ripping up League One at the moment on the BBC Sport website. Bloody restrictions!
Anyway, yes. The job situation grated on me muchly, but plenty of things were going on. I happened to see Ricky Gervais in the street getting out of a limo at the Toronto International Film Festival which was nice, and definitely worth mentioning you "that-isn't-fucking-interesting-Paul"-tossbanana. Socially, I've met a helluva lot of English people this month, including my main boys and current room-mates in the rather nice HI-Hostel, the Room 801 West Yorkshire massive, Dan, Tom and Neil (AKA "the Nesbitt"). Yeah, they come from Bradford. What's that shit?!
I've also had SWAPers coming out of my ears (sadly not in reality yet...er..) and the majority of night outs have included some or all of them. The hostel itself throws up some interesting characters on occasion and we also got taught beer pong by some really quite young college girls before everything sort of went wrong, but that story isn't very interesting. Promise.
But yeah, that's right, I'm still in a hostel after seven weeks. But it's not a case of waking up to find a smelly Chinese bloke going mental inside a dustbin at 6am - after living with another two bloody nice chaps on top of the current Room 801 roster for a couple of weeks at the end of September, we booked into a semi-private room at the start of October, meaning it was just four of us. Cabin fever does occasionally set in, but no one has died. Yet. My bet is on Neil. Things like ninjavideo (New Peep Show is WIZARD!), Chris Morris quotes and a bloody amazing game called Simsoc (much recommended for fans of 96-97 Premiership footballers and early Champ Manager games) do make the time go quicker and provide us all with a bloody laugh. Like Neil.
We've managed a few nice trips during this month though as the job search sort of faltered and then finally succeeded. The CN Tower was a little bit of a let down (it's just a big tower innit) - the views were ok, but I probably would have felt a bit let down had it not cost about 12 dollars thanks to a left voucher from our fleeting friends Ozzie "croc" Melissa and Nic (she was from Bradford, what's that shit again). Niagara Falls was lovely though, despite being a load of old water - it was nice to get out of the city for a day and see some different coloured trees. Some bits were a let down though - the world's most dangerous whirlpool was a complete and utter scam and the supposedly picturesque Town of Niagara was overrun with tourist scum like ourselves. We also went to Woodbine races on Saturday, where we lost loads of money and cried ourselves to sleep on the way home on the bus.
Toronto it seems isn't a huge attraction place, so whilst I'm Toronto, I do plan to get out to some of the other famous cities around here - Montreal, Quebec City and Ottawa (where two of my room mates are currently doing).
So, onto jobs. Ah, firstly, one thing I did manage was to sign up to an agency on the spot in mid-September and find myself serving U2 fans hotdogs at two dates those Oirish dolts did at the Rogers Centre. Not much to report there, but on a side note, I found myself at the Rogers Centre quite a few times after this, bizarrely because I seemed to find myself drawn to baseball. I mean yeah, it could be because it was 11 dollars and I didn't have anything else to do, but the last game I saw was genuinely gripping, and I even ended up buying a Blue Jays watch for work! WORK! Yes, a few weeks ago, I got a call back from Scotiabank cinema, a cinema where I watched Inglorious Basterds at with my mate Mr Daniel Sawicki at the start of September (to review, it was ok, bit over-Tarantino-y, but whatever, I haven't even seen Pulp Fiction and even I made that judgement so it can't have been that good.. I've also seen District 9 which was bloody superb and Zombieland which was alright, wordy reviews over), and they gave me the job straight away at the interview.
In summary, it's minimum wage, and at the moment, I'm not sure I can live off it exclusively. But for what it is, after working about four or five shifts now, I can honestly say it's pretty good for a part time job. I finally get to meet some real Canadians and I get picked up on by my englishness a lot; take a look at that ruddy bold title at the top for a TERRIBLE example, but I reckon it helps - I sold the most popcorn/drink/candy combos last week, which was kind of the corniest and best thing ever, and I got a 25 dollar gift voucher for a restaurant AND I get to see the equivalent of a free film a week, so don't... Also, it means some of those lovely Toronto girls HAVE to talk to me..
In short, yes, I'm a journalism graduate who now works for Cineplex Canada and stinks of popcorn. Wandafideaboudid?!
Anyway, with some income coming in now, and with a bit of luck, an extra bit on the cards if I can find another job for over Christmas, I am in the process (I say process, that mainly just means wasting time on the motherfucking internet)of finding somewhere to live of my own for November.
And that's me for now. The Canadian dream is still alive! Things will change in a few weeks and I'll have to adapt or die. Stay tuned to see if I die. Hope you're having a nice time in Britain and go and check out my photos on Facebook you big spazz!
