"FUCK YOUR COUNTRY! I'LL BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF IT!"
That particular American hobo walking down a Toronto street screaming profanities obviously doesn't like Canada. That's a shame, because from what I've seen and witnessed so far, I bloody love it!
I've been here in Toronto over a week now, and despite the fact I am yet to find a job or a permanent place to stay, I sort of feel as though I've settled in, even though everything is well up in the air... I've got used to being given 30 seconds to cross the road, to realising that prices don't include tax and eating Oh! Henrys. Yes. Oh! Henry. I mean.. what's that shit. Come on. Y'see, this being my first time in North America ever, the Americanisms hit me and make me laugh 10 times harder than people in my situation.
Anyway, I digress.. back to the start. After meeting some nice people at the airport last Wednesday and a not so gruelling eight hour flight (cheers, the American Office on demand), I finally arrived in Toronto on Wednesday afternoon. The approach on the plane over the lakes and then finally the city, with that big shiny needle up there, finally brought it home to me where I was... and fucking hell, it turned out to be real. After some fudding around at the airport and a pretty easy ride through immigration, we got to our pretty duff hostel (where I still reside, apparently it used to be a hotel where Jack Nicholson and the Rolling Stones stayed; I'm guessing it fell apart and so is now perfect as a cheap hostel) and stepped out into the city that hopefully I'll call my home for the foreseeable future. First impressions?! LISTEN UP OTHER CITIES. THIS IS HOW A CITY SHOULD BE! Clean, vibrant, everything seemingly open at all times (people want to buy TV's at 10pm right?), very friendly smiley people and despite the fact it's the second biggest country on earth's biggest city, you feel refreshingly safe wherever you go at any time (at least I have so far, not planning on visiting any crack houses just yet..)! The scale of it and the fact you can be in a seemingly entirely different neighbourhood after a short walk on tram ride is still very new to me, coming straight outta Menston yo. G. Innit.
So yeah, great city, wonderful. After the first night, where I and other group flight attendees crashed to our respective beds at a despicable 10pm from the lag, we had another explore the next day and since then I've filled most of my days up with a combination of dropping into the SWAP office (which has free internet and is sort of like a job centre but with less people called Daz) and wandering around the city aimlessly, gawping at Toronto's frankly stunning ladies, buying hotdogs and laughing at signs (A restaurant called "Feel like Crepe".. Anyone?). Sometimes at the same time. The amount of money I've been spending has been sort of ridiculous, especially since me and my homeboy Danielo have been trying to cover every fast food place in Toronto... (Taco Bellend is the winner so far).
But I've done a few things that are worth mentioning, in lieu of finding a job or a place to stay. The first week, we went to the baseball, which I'm afraid to say, was the dullest live sporting event I've ever witnessed. The Toronto Blue Jays beat them famous New York Yankees when we saw it, the Yankees scoring nothing at all. The players hardly ever hit the ball, one game appears to mean nothing (they play ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO GAMES IN SIX MONTHS) and the beers cost ten dollars. That's not my kind of sport I'm afraid. Other than the baseball, I've also been to Toronto Island a couple of times, which is basically one massive park with some awesome views of the city. The first time me and Daniel went on Labour Day, and it was full of families, but me and a load of fellow SWAP lads went today and it was much better quieter and footballs (shove "soccer" up your arse) and American footballs were flying everywhere. I've also been out a few times with the BUNAC/SWAP people, who are all very nice, and despite the drinks costing an arm and a shitting leg, fun times I'm pleased to report are being had, so don't worry yourself. I'm yet to go up the CN Tower (which always feels like a euphemism) or get over to Niagra Falls, but they are definito priorities.
So yeah! All good things to report so far. Except the fact I just saw a mouse in the hostel. Probably should get out of this place quite soon, but I'm looking for a job before I commit to anywhere... Once that happens, the doom-filled feelings of running out of money and ending up like the many, many hobos on the streets of Toronto (that's a flaw) will disappear. Today I saw a hobo on rollerskates, holding a vase for his money. I applaud his creativity. Anyway, for now, I shall leave you and I promise to post shorter blogs in future...
Good night buddy!
I'm not your..............
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